If Kanye was a Beer…

Hooch & Hops has thrown together some of the music industry’s hottest artists and the beer world’s top brews to form a mashup for the ages.  Take a gander at what we have come up with and feel free to drop your own recommendations in the comments section.

Kanye West-  Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale from Stone Brewery:

  • As if the name didn’t say it all, the image of the devil with angel wings on the front of the bottle perfectly reflects the fine balance between charm and idiocy that Kanye so epitomizes.  This was the first Black IPA on the market and, like Kanye, its appearance on the scene ignited a trend that has been copied, repackaged, and ripped off.  If only beer consumers could illegally download Stone’s beer, it would have to be renamed My Sublimely Self-Righteous Fantasy.  Stone’s Self-Righteous has enough bitter hop kick to knock any chincy Taylor Swift beer off the block but retains a sweet balance from the dark malts to allow it to sit comfortably on the shelves of any Billboard Hot 100 beer buyer out there.

Eminem- Nemesis from Founders Brewery:

  • Just like Detroit’s troubled son, Founder’s Nemesis reinvents itself every year.  The brewery’s claim that “you never know what you’re gonna get” should be stickered on every Eminem album the moment it exits the press.   One year, it may come equipped with enough bitter fire to assault your senses and sit on the shelves, another year it could find enough balance to find its way on every Top 10 chart in the industry.   Just like Em, the most recent effort has gone triple-platinum.   See our Top 2010 American Beer list to find it holding down the #2 spot.

Bono- Save our Shores Ale from Abita Brewery:

  • Bono donates his millions to relief efforts the world around.  Louisiana’s Abita Brewery doesn’t have millions to donate, but it’s pooling your beer-buying dollars to contribute to the Gulf Relief Effort.   Bono’s U2 has dropped a few dogs on the music industry in the band’s 300 years of existence.  To further the comparison, the Big Easy’s Strawberry Harvest Ale is Abita’s Zooropa.  Heavy drugs must have contributed to the creation of both.  You told yourself last Christmas that Bono’s red iPod you bought fulfilled your annual charity.  Use the same justification this year as you slam a bomber of Abita’s SOS ale.

Justin Bieber: Watermelon Wheat from 21st Amendment:

  • Usher demolished the little street-cred he previously held by putting this Similac-fueled nightmare on the streets.  San Fran’s 21st Amendment also strayed a bit from the mark by placing Watermelon Wheat next to their Brew Free or Die IPA, Monks Blood, or Back in Black (all great)Although the girls may go gaga if you roll a keg of this into your next apartment party, just like Bieber’s fans, they are not old enough to drink anyway.    Don’t stroll up to the jukebox and call-up Bieber; don’t belly up to the bar and order a watermelon beer.   For the record, this will be Justin’s favorite drink in 17 years when he is “of age”.

Matisyahu- Jewbelation from He’Brew Brewery:

He may rock the yamaka and beard, but just like He’Brew’s  Jewbelation, a Hasidic fire waits within.   Like Matisyahu in a “rap battle”, at 14% alcohol by volume, this “chosen beer” will knock you out of your Temple shoes.   Both ‘Yahu and Jewbelation are out of sight and out of mind all but a few months a year when they wake from hibernation to bring joy to all religious faiths. 

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