My pops likes Budweiser and swears that the “beachwood aging” adds character. He claims that Sapporo is a finely tuned brew and saves it for those days when he’s in the mood for a “big beer”. To him, Bud Light is a drink that should never be swigged by a self-respecting male. H2 agrees with his last point, but not because it’s a “light” beer but because it’s about as logical as drinking slightly alcoholic sugar water. It’s probably no coincidence that you dad holds somewhat similar opinions of beer as my own. These men were raised in a beer totalitarian state. The Coors, Busch, and Miller “kings” of the beer world injected their propaganda into the stubborn minds of our fathers during the pre-Craft years. They have carried these scars ever since.
On this day dedicated to paternal worship, we love our fathers but hate their beer tastes. This Father’s Day, Hooch & Hops is on hand to provide a few tips on how to gently refine your father’s stubborn palate.
- Don’t Go for the Haymaker- Wait until there are runners on base before you swing for the Grand Slam. It is not wise to kick start your father’s appreciation for beer with the same liquid gold that you’ve gradually built up to over the last decade. Old habits die hard, so start with a better version of the crap that your dad is accustomed to drinking. Replace his Bud with a proper German Pilsner, the type of beer that American’s mass market lagers were intended to replicate. Explain that this is the same beer he loves, just with better ingredients. Pick up a Bitburger Pils, a North Coast Scrimshaw, or a Trumer Pils.
- Avoid the Hops- You may love the IPA’s, the hop-monsters, and the grapefruit giants, but to Pops these will likely taste and smell about as appetizing as Pine-Sol. The American Adjunct Lagers he’s accustomed to sacrifice hop bitterness for mass market appeal. Save the hoppier breed for his next stage of nirvana. For now, ease him in to a less abrasive brew. Consider some German Weissbiers or Helles lagers such a Schneider Weiss, Weinstephaner Original or Spaten Hell.
- Avoid the “Sally Beers”- To Dad, beer is a guy’s thing. If it comes in a wine glass and isn’t wine, it shouldn’t not be held in the hands of man. So, tuck your prized Belgian beers back in the cellar. Although he may someday come around, he would think that these beers are too rich anyways. If he’s starting to feel a bit adventurous, move into the subtly darker Maibock or Fest-Beers that they house in liters in the beer-halls of Germany. If these brews are manly enough for “ze Germans”, it’s probably acceptable for Pops. Give a Shiner Bock, Ayinger Octoberfest, or Sierra Nevada Glissade a go.
Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. It took years of psychological conditioning to ruin your father’s beer palate. It will take some time to save it.